Stream of consciousness

 

Ugh..... Every time I read this I hate it more. This is exactly the type of crap that makes every one else on the plnet think that poetry sucks. I will leave it here as a reminder to all that just because you wrote it, doesn't mean that it has any worth...

So I made the smallest of changes to this - I think it's a total of 5 words that were changed, and - of course - the form... The form of the poem has changed the create appropriate flow and emphasis. So here is what I have done to try to undo the insipid tripe that I had originally posted:

 

So... Is it better? Yeah - I would say that it is better. By far.

Is it good? No. I don't think that you can polish dung and call it poetry. You can't say a bad string of words with JUST a few e.e. cummings tricks, but you can pretty it up enough that it can trick the eye into thinking it sees something that isn't there.

In this case, what isn't there is heart. It's a dispassionate piece of writing, and it has no goal. It isn't going anywhere, nor can it take you anywhere. It is aimless, and lost.

Sad, really.....